Every leader has a default pattern that they may not consciously be aware of. For some it's control, for others it's withdrawal, for others it's people-pleasing. None of these are moral failings - they're learned survival strategies. The work of leadership development is first noticing the pattern, then building the character strength to choose a more effective response.

A few years ago, I received a piece of feedback that felt like a punch to the gut.

I was working as a Human Resource Manager, a role that I loved and enjoyed. I followed a strict "open-door policy"—the door to my office was quite literally propped open every single day. Whenever I met colleagues in the office corridors, I smiled, and greeted them. I genuinely believed I had created a sanctuary—a safe space where any employee could walk in and talk to me about anything.

Then, I was invited to participate in a Leadership Development Program that required a 360-degree assessment. During the program, I received my results and when I opened the anonymous report, I was expecting to see a reflection of the warm environment I thought I was cultivating. Instead, I read a sentence that completely shocked me: "Stop being unapproachable."

I sat there staring at the report, completely defensive. Unapproachable? Me? My door is always open! I say good morning every day! How could they see me that way?

It took me a while to process that feedback, but it forced me to confront a painful, universal leadership truth:

People do not experience your intentions. They only experience your behavior.

Understanding the "Intention-Impression" Gap

We judge ourselves by our hidden, noble motives, but we judge everyone else strictly by their external actions. I intended to be welcoming. But others did not see my internal motives. They experienced the non-verbal cues I was sending out. They saw my brow furrowed over my laptop while my door was open, signaling "do not disturb."

This creates a massive "Intention-Impression Gap" in our interactions with others. When your daily behaviors are out of alignment with your intentions, trust erodes, and policies break down. An open door means absolutely nothing if your body language says "stay away."

3 Steps to Align Your Behavior with Your Intentions

If you want to ensure your leadership intentions actually land with your team, you must move past passive policies and look at your daily micro-behaviors.

1. Audit Your Micro-Signals

An open door is a macro-policy, but humans judge safety based on micro-signals. Notice what you are doing when people approach you. Are you hovering over your keyboard? Is your phone face-up on the desk?

The Fix: When someone walks into your space, physically pivot your chair toward them, close your laptop screen halfway, and place your phone face down. This micro-signal communicates: "You have my undivided attention."

2. Close the Feedback Loop Proactively

Do not wait for a feedback report to find out you are misaligned. Ask for real-time feedback from trusted colleagues.

The Fix: Ask specific, behavioral questions instead of generic ones. Instead of asking, "Is everything okay?", ask, "When I lead our team meetings, do I leave enough space for dissenting opinions, or does it feel like I'm rushing through?"

3. Replace "Availability" with "Accessibility"

Being available just means you are physically in the room. Being accessible means you are mentally and emotionally ready to receive people.

The Fix: Dedicate specific blocks of time on your calendar explicitly labeled "Office Hours" or "Drop-In Time." This signals to the team that you aren't just tolerating interruptions—you are actively inviting them.

Final Thoughts: Leading with Awareness

1. The moment I realized that my invisible intentions did not exempt me from the reality of my visible behaviors, my leadership changed. I stopped hiding behind the phrase "open-door policy" and started doing the hard work of matching my posture, my focus, and my energy to my underlying desire to help.
2. Look at your own management style this week. Your intentions might be golden—but what is your behavior actually saying?

Take the Next Step in Your Leadership Journey

Aligning your intentions with your behaviour is rarely something you can do alone in front of a mirror. It requires objective feedback, dedicated strategy, and a safe space to unpack your leadership blind spots.

If you are ready to move past passive policies and start leading with conscious, high-impact behaviours, let's work together.

As a leadership coach, I help executives and managers bridge the gap between how they want to lead and how their teams actually experience them. In our sessions, we will:

1. Identify your specific behavioral blind spots
2. Build a customized feedback loop that works for your unique workplace
3. Develop practical communication tools that instantly build trust with your team

Don't wait for your next formal feedback report to find out there is a gap.

Book your 30-minute complimentary Discovery Session